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Me Too
Nothing left but shadows growing longer Down respective alley ways What’s right or what’s wrong never mattered Only pain
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Vengeful Martyr
I’m finding there is a part of me that is a little less kind. That is a little more conniving and, my goodness, is it stealthy. The intention with this part IS to inflict harm. On their abuser and anyone that appears similarly. They want revenge. They’ve referred to themself as a “vengeful martyr.”
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Selective Vulnerability
And I wanted to be right. So I started playing the part. I listened to the right music. I believed in the right God. I dated the right person. I kept the right friends. I molded myself to fit in with the majority of which I was surrounded. I did the “right” things so it…
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Shame: The Perpetrator is Me
My problem doesn’t lie in not accepting the abuse, my problem lies with my own participation. Yes, I was a child only doing what any child would do when exposed to such things. But I still feel ashamed of it. I’ve always felt ashamed.
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Fearfully Searching
Just as the fear hurt me, it also helped me to hurt others. By pretending to be something I was not, I manipulated my relationships. By not being honest about my needs and wants, I created confusion and distrust. By saying yes when I meant no, I built false resentments. Relationships require vulnerability, honesty and intimacy.…