—How can I love and be loved?
How can I give and receive something I do not understand? I don’t really know what love is. The ways I’ve loved in the past look a lot like people pleasing. Love was anticipating your needs and saying yes when I meant no. That is not love. That is fear. It’s fear of abandonment. It’s fear of rejection. It’s fear of loss. It’s fear of feeling. Not only have I mistaken fear for love, I’ve also mistaken pity for love, loneliness for love, control for love… And if I’m unable to understand what love actually is, how can I know if what is being presented to me is love? I can’t. So I reject it because I can’t understand it. Yet.
